I was spanked once or maybe twice as a kid. I vaguely remember it. I was pretty lucky that my parents hardly did any spanking. It just wasn’t their way to discipline us.
But now that I’m a parent, I’m in a crossroad. Should I spank my kids when the time comes? Or can I do without the spanking?
Spanking Does Not Make It Any Better
There are still a lot of parents that think spanking is a good way to discipline their kids. I have met parents that believe in spanking. So now that I’m a new mom, I’m wondering if it really is the best way to discipline kids. This quandary led me to learn more about parenting. In the process, I came across this resource that really got me thinking.
Dr. Ari Brown, a pediatrician, gave some eye-opening thoughts on spanking.
“Many of us were spanked as children but that doesn’t make it okay.”
Dr. Brown points out that we, parents, are our children’s model. Everything we do is imitated by our children.
“… using physical force is the last thing you want your child to imitate …”
Such physical acts like “ spanking, hitting, or kicking” actually leaves a message that it’s acceptable to “express frustration by force”. Here’s another startling fact about spanking. Children that have been spanked manifest a more aggressive behavior than children that weren’t spanked at all.
The Concept Of Discipline
Discipline is taught to children. We, parents, have to patiently teach our kids the concept of discipline. We do this by reminding and by modelling the right behavior as well. That concept totally contradicts the discipline method of spanking.
With spanking, the child becomes scared of his parents. On top of that, the child thinks it’s natural for his parents to hurt him if he makes a mistake. That’s definitely not the right concept of discipline.
Spanking does not show the child how to behave accordingly and most especially, does not explain why there are rules. Clearly, spanking does not do anything but harm the child.
“The best discipline methods to teach children that there are natural consequences for poor behavior.”
A More Positive Discipline Method
Spanking is a poor parenting choice. But unfortunately, some parents resort to this. I don’t want to make this mistake. Although I know it’s going to be hard.
“If you feel like you’re losing your cool, take a step back and take a deep cleansing breath.”
Nothing beats taking a deep breath. That and counting up to ten or maybe even up to 20. The point is we need to show the children that we are patient with them.
I know there will be times when I will lose my patience with my kids. But I will definitely do without the spanking to get the right message across. This is one positive discipline method that I will hang on to.